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War of Attrition

by Jessica Smucker

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“What do we want from our mothers when we are children? Complete submission. Oh, it's very nice and rational and respectable to say that a woman has every right to her life, to her ambitions, to her needs, and so on--it's what I've always demanded myself--but as a child, no, the truth is it's a war of attrition, rationality doesn't come into it, not one bit, all you want from your mother is that she once and for all admit that she is your mother and only your mother, and that her battle with the rest of life is over. She has to lay down arms and come to you. And if she doesn't do it, then it's really a war..." - Zadie Smith, "Swing Time"

lyrics

I don’t have a face and I don’t have a name
You walk all over every space I claim

Play me like a banjo
Break me like a string
Make so much noise that I forget the song
I was trying to sing

What else do I have to do but love you?
What more could I want to do but love you?

I tried to hold back a little something for myself
I tried to hold the line
to stand my ground
but you always wear me down
You wear me down
You wear me down down down

I’m your favorite person
I’m the one you miss
whenever I go out of sight and yet
somehow I don’t exist

Play me like a Lego
build me up a wall
then throw a fit and knock me over
yeah, I was made to fall

What else do I have to do but love you?
What more could I want to do but love you?

I tried to hold back a little something for myself
I tried to hold the line
to stand my ground
but you always wear me down
You wear me down
You wear me down down down

I’m a waning crescent
I’m the thinnest shape
the moon takes on before it slides away

Rockabye baby
Rockabye baby

I tried to hold back a little something for myself
I tried to hold the line
to stand my ground
but you always wear me down
You wear me down
You wear me down

credits

released August 19, 2022
lyrics and melody by Jessica Smucker (copyright 2022)

Song credits:
Produced and recorded by Chad Kinsey
Mixed by Peter Rydberg at 1935 Studio
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova

Jessica Smucker: vocals
Trixi Greiner: piano, synths
Mike Bitts: bass
Paul Murr: drums
Chad Kinsey: guitars
Matt Thomas: organ

Lyric video created by Haley Monson

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Jessica Smucker Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Jessica has performed all over the Eastern U.S. and has won several national songwriting contests including the Connecticut Folk Festival and SolarFest. She has opened for notable acts like Cheryl Wheeler and Bill Staines, and shared festival stages with Patty Larkin, Dar Williams and Antje Duvekot. Her third full-length album, Lucid Stories, Tentative Lies, is due out in September 2020. ... more

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