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This Broken Moment

by Jessica Smucker & The Sleeping World

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1.
Rattle My Chain 02:57
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Whatever the consequence, whatever the cost let's chop off my branch of that family tree Don't try to save me, I'm already lost I stood on the side of the road and stuck out my thumb Oh, baby, I knew you'd come Do what you want with me and I won't care Rattle my chain and take me anywhere Am I running away or am I going home? Only the devil knows Let's not pretend this is about innocence or hospitality or common sense You can hold me down or drag me back to the light Either way it serves me right You never promised me freedom You never promised me love You can go straight to hell for all I care Save me a seat, honey, I'll meet you there By the fireside we'll be reconciled A warm bed for the wayward child
2.
With Us or Against Us 04:47
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Something is wrong, the body has changed A heightened security, a false refrain The language is safe but the subtext is mean You're spitting out words across a ticking screen You're digging up bones. Your stories are stones you're throwing at everyone who crosses you I do what I can, my head in my hands I try not to think about the master plan We've gone to heaven to escape the truth If you're in hell there's something wrong with you Thunder and lightning or a sunny day You chose your fate and that is where you'll stay It doesn't matter what you think you've got to say You better get on our side or be thrown away Half of your bed, half of us dead the newspaper's wadded up and left unread You were the poem that followed me home uprooted my senses, cursed my heart to roam You never listen to a word I say This isn't life, this is a game we play I start to follow, then you change your name I start to win and it's a different game It doesn't matter what I'm dealt or how I play I better get on your side or be thrown away You were all confidence and rage a ring of fire on the stage a barbed wire fence around my mind I couldn't take another chance I kicked a stone, I stole a glance but I walked single file between the lines This ship has sailed into the dead of night You better watch your back and hold on tight The crooked smiles and the neon stares The holy bible of infernal affairs There's no joy in saying I told you so Wish I could take back this world and never let it go
3.
Beautiful Sin 03:41
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It's 2am and the music stops There's no one left but you and me You throw one back and you move toward the door but then you turn to look at me Listen here, I don't want any protest I'll tell you how it's gonna be You'll arrive like a thief in the night and make sweet love to me Angel of death, you take me back to where we started from I hold my breath until you're naked as the winter sun Loneliness is a pissed-off kid with two little dolls in his fists knocking us together 'til we come apart and he's alone again You've got a way of getting everything you want from me But lucky for you 'cause that's exactly how I want it to be. Oh...let me run down from your chin like forbidden rain. We've got nothing to lose, and nothing beyond the dead of this night to gain. Throw me down on the bed like a sinister map of every place you've been Draw the lines on my skin, irrefutable proof of this our beautiful sin You'll be the king and I will bathe upon my roof But forget the king - I don't care who you are, if you want the truth Come away to the place where society bends us and the lions feed Pull me out of the muck and mess of all that I'm supposed to be You are my Jesus for tonight, I don't mind telling you so but when we're through you better pick up you humanity off the floor and go
4.
Shut Up 04:28
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I want to lose you today pump you with air and watch you blow away I'm tired of love, I love you too much but here in this moment, loving you sucks a drip of the faucet, a steep waterfall there's too much too fast or nothing at all I can't get through to you you're preaching like a prophet dooming all the fun screaming like a mad man, pushing 'til you win the more you're pushing out, the less you're letting in I have had enough of this white noise static coming from your lips Why don't you shut up and let me love you? Try not to feel what you said give it a moment, give it a rest I've never been good at walking away but I deserve more than to love you today I can't get through to you You're preaching like a prophet picking at my sins pointing like a moonbeam raging at the sea caught up in a wave that's crashing over me Here i am still playing my role a lonely body and a cluttered soul It's time to shut up and let me love you here we go again here we go again... Why don't you shut up and let me love you?
5.
Mermaid's Kiss 03:30
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I had a mind of my own I was gonna form clouds with words and speak rain in tongues on your wedding day I was gonna be the one to prophecy your mermaid wife how she’d only step down from the movie screen long enough for you to take a bite I wanted more than your bed I’m a cupid of words like arrows shooting straight to your head I was gonna be the one but there she was with her hair hung down and the ocean on her back It all happened so quickly I’m afraid I missed my cue or maybe I’m just tired I probed your mind with my tongue burned you with chaliced lips you mistook for a mermaid’s kiss but I wanted more than your lust I’m the sepulchral groan of the wind I could beat your words to dust Just haven’t bothered for a long time a long time I can’t be what you want me to be fumbling through your brain, riding on the waves of a fool’s mythology Everything that you can’t have, that’s what you want You always look to the big screen mermaids ‘cause they can’t run like I can The ocean won’t underwrite your claims but there are currents beneath the surface bowing down to your name You’re a pocket of sand I’ve swallowed Parched, my lips run dry and you’re asleep on the coastline, tanning, so vain you won’t deny what I’ve been saying for a long time a long time
6.
There & Back Again 03:58
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Sometimes the world just isn't big enough I want to squeeze myself out of this womb If hope is a cut, I am the razor blade If love is a dirt pile, I am the broom Follow my own rules, listen to no fool float like a leaf in the breeze It doesn't matter where I lay my head as long as I can breathe Putting my quarters into the Wurlitzer tossing a bottle into the sea Throwing my voice out into the universe Hoping someone's got a message for me The river of life dried up and left me here with no one to love and nowhere to go I pick up a pencil, put it back down again Only the silence knows what I know Follow my own rules, listen to no fool float like a leaf in the breeze It doesn't matter where I lay my head as long as I can breathe All of these years, the lure of the moon at night The epic adventure, the freedom to roam But here by the fire, here where it's safe and warm My big disappointment: there's no place like home
7.
What Matters More Than God 02:49
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There's a dent in the ever after There's a book like a hurricane Open it up, it'll pull you under sink you in its rain There's a man with a broken arrow There's a woman with a bitter pill There's an angel telling half a story voices small and still Oooh… Hit me now with a stick of dogma Suck me into a web of sin Wrath of god and the fire can't hurt me but love, love will do me in Oooh… I've been looking for the ever after I've been driving through the pouring rain holding on for the next disaster sad but not insane Oooh...
8.
Mercy 05:24
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I see the shadows move across the sky I see the stars are falling down on you and I keep hoping maybe you’ll forgive what I’m about to do You can handle everything just right but then one day you see your entire life a magician’s cloth that pulled right out from under you You mistook me for a lullaby but I’m a wrecking ball, I’m a thief at night I’m the empty room that greets you in the morning light You want to salvage something from this mess turn our impending doom into a big success but I’ve got nothing left and baby, I’m content to fail I’ve been searching for the wrong ends waging fake wars up in my head Starve the body just to spite the soul I’d try harder but the devil’s got his hands on me He’s all liquored up and getting ready for the feast If you cook it long enough, it starts to taste a little sweet Well, he treats me right but he won’t set me free I had to leave this town ‘cause I’d always let you down I can feel you moving on from me see the apple fall from the dying tree I’m just a yesterday that flickers as you walk away But forgiveness isn’t novocain It doesn’t numb the lips or take away the pain It’s just a thing you say and hope it’ll be true someday Give me something to hold onto the grip of hands pulling me in Give me body, I’ve had enough of soul I want Jesus to jump off the cross and dance with me let our hips rewrite the canon, reinvent mercy He’s the only one who can make me come but we both know that martyrdom’s the purest form of apathy I’ll be waiting in your bed ‘til you come back from the dead Mercy, you’re the gun that hunts me down Mercy, hands and knees I’m on the ground Oh, mercy, I’m ready now
9.
Dear John Letter to Jesus 04:43
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Listen Jesus I don't mean to throw your love away You're a good guy You've got pretty eyes and some witty things to say But I've been walking through these streets alone through quiet nights and silver rains I put my trust in things like gravity It has your force without the name You've been true but I need more than promises of doom It's the 21st century, if you keep telling me how you've bled for me, well then you're just another bearer of bad news Your broken body on the shelf for me - it's the last thing that I need when all my friends have left the bar at night and you are all that still remains I tried to tell you to go back to heaven where you belong I tried to stop writing you into every song They say you're merciful Then why don't you go? Leave me alone I'm not a bad girl. I've just got too much going on I tried but you just stand there holding out your hand The saddest part is I really do think you'd understand
10.
Overthrown 03:01
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Once upon a time when everything was going fine I threw myself into a mess I saw you move, I took a risk You threw your head back in the light of the moon that fragile night shook the demons from your hair, inhaled the music with the air Baby, I'm afraid of you You dance like the spirits do The way you arc, the way you bend You could make me feel again I want music in my mouth I want you to show me how There's a fire in your step The smell of peaches on your breath I'm the moonlight overthrown You're the hot front from the west Every time you ask to dance I say no but I mean yes They clear the tables off the floor I want to dance but I'm not sure how to move and how to be when the music seizes me I take a step but I'm too shy I'm thinking how I want to fly across the room, out of my head out of here, into your bed I want music on my lips To feel the world against your hips The rhythm's moving in your step and there is fire on your breath I'm the moonlight overthrown You're the hot front from the west Every time you ask to dance I say no but I mean yes Maybe there's an explanation for this paranoid vibration The undertow beneath the sea that's pulling you away from me. My instincts have been dispossessed my cadences on house arrest The way you arc, the way you move like wind around the darkened moon I want music in my mouth I want you to show me how There's a fire in your step The smell of peaches on your breath I'm the moonlight overthrown You're the hot front from the west Every time you ask to dance I say no but I mean yes Yes
11.
New Year Song 04:36
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ready or not now is the time this is our long-awaited day of jubilee all is forgiven all is at rest the beaches are waiting for the next wave to hit if I have to drown in this dark sea I can be brave I'm not gonna let this broken moment slip away whatever happens keep me close let me love you as the white crests love the breeze
12.
The Blues Are Here to Stay 04:35
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I'm not blind but I wanted to be to wrap myself inside a dark cocoon, the land of the free I get so tired of the undertow of all the things I can't let go Oh…there is nothing we can do or say to make the river flow the opposite way We're spending all our time these days just learning how to be okay Good things will come and go but the blues are here to stay We're high and dry, we're down and out digging through the trash for something that's worth singing about The wild geese are heading south You and I are living hand to mouth Oh…there is nothing we can do or say to make the river flow the opposite way We're spending all our time these days just learning how to be okay Good things will come and go but the blues are here to stay I'm not blind but it's painful to see the odds against us ever being honest, happy and free So I dance alone in the dark at night forgive myself when I can't find the light Oh…there is nothing we can do or say to make the river flow the opposite way We're spending all our time these days just learning how to be okay Good things will come and go but the blues are here to stay So I'll rip the joy from the mouth of pain wander through the streets and look for hidden music under everything I can feel the beat in the pouring rain I can follow the sound of a passing train Oh…there is nothing we can do or say to make the river flow the opposite way The sooner we accept this life, the sooner we'll be okay Good things will come and go but the blues are here to stay Good things will come and go but the blues are here to stay Good things will come and go but the blues are here to stay

credits

released October 22, 2010

All songs written by Jessica Smucker
Copyright 2010

Produced by Jessica Smucker and Charlie Burnett
Recorded, mixed, and engineered by Charlie Burnett
Mastered by Pete Barnhart

Cover layout/design by Keith Lehman
Photography by Molly S. Photography

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Jessica Smucker Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Jessica has performed all over the Eastern U.S. and has won several national songwriting contests including the Connecticut Folk Festival and SolarFest. She has opened for notable acts like Cheryl Wheeler and Bill Staines, and shared festival stages with Patty Larkin, Dar Williams and Antje Duvekot. Her third full-length album, Lucid Stories, Tentative Lies, is due out in September 2020. ... more

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