Get all 11 Jessica Smucker releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of War of Attrition, Phoenix, Stones to Throw, Rose of Jericho, Dinosaurs, Let's Get a Tree (single), Lucid Stories, Tentative Lies, Tumbling After, and 3 more.
1. |
You'll Forgive Me
04:27
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It’s over. I’m sorry.
You will have to live without me now.
I’m moving to Chicago. I’ll pick up my things tomorrow.
It’s not you, it’s me.
I’m like a leaf stuck to a tree.
I’d give my roots, my breath, my home, my peace
to freefall with the autumn breeze.
Let the wind blow me to anywhere but in your arms
and let the city lights eclipse the moonlight’s song.
A fever’s burning my whole world into a rage, but darling,
you will forgive me one of these days.
Come closer. I would like to tell you how you shook my life.
I’m still inebriated from the myth that you created
when you fell in love with me and let me bring my misery
into your house, into your mind
a cloud against your sky-blue eyes.
I don’t remember how I let it come to this
when you were wild-eyed and begging me to reconsider.
I had no choice. I slammed the door and walked away, but baby
you will forgive me one of these days.
There is a special place in hell for one like me
who tears the wool right off of the sheep
and brings a grown man to his knees
But when you get up, it’ll be better you than me.
You’ll be the still-bright moon lighting up the sky;
I’ll be the insatiable sea.
Don’t worry about me. I chose this life. I’m finally free.
Don’t worry about me. I chose this life. I’m finally free.
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2. |
Land of Goshen
03:25
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Come on. Let’s go.
There’s a promised land to find
I’ll be your compass if you’ll be mine
There’s a land of milk and honey
over the hill where the grass is green
and the color of the sky is the color of your eyes
as you lead me over
I don’t know how to read this meadow
It feels safe but there’s something amiss
I’m a goat with the sheep, a chicken with the swans
a whale on the beach, a preacher in the ghetto
Oh, I’m looking for the secrets you don’t want me to know
Oh, the hand that feeds me is the hand that never lets me go
I can only think for myself these days
I don’t know how to navigate the maze of you
the sweet I do
the foolproof power of sticking to the plan
Give me wilderness or give me death
I don’t need a place to rest
I need the swarms
I need the hail
to beat my body, take away my breath
I’m running to a place that you will never know
Oh, the land that feeds me is the land that never lets me go
Don’t look for me
Don’t look for me
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3. |
Last-Minute Messiahs
03:35
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She’s been getting used to this since she was 5 years old
Why don’t you let your little girl be a little girl?
I’m supposed to love you as if you were my kin
but I can’t say I would love you if you were
I come and sit by your bedside
but I’m running out of things to say
You’ve been dying for way too long.
Why don’t you give it up? Just give her up
You think religion’s gonna ease your pain--
your streets of gold and last minute messiahs
Long as you get on a fast train out of her mind
Dirty daddy’s kisses taste like ashes
Mama looks so pretty through the smoke
She’s been dusting shadows all her long, long life
and you’re still throwing fires on the stove
I could shine some light on your life
but the smoke is getting in my eyes
You think religion’s gonna ease her pain--
your streets of gold and last minute messiahs
Why don’t you get on a fast train out of her mind?
I come and sit by your bedside
but I’m running out of things to say
You’ve been dying for way too long.
Why don’t you give it up? Just give her up
You think religion’s gonna ease your pain--
your streets of gold and last minute messiahs
Long as you get on a fast train out of her mind
Why don’t you get on a fast train out of our lives?
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4. |
Holy Holy
03:49
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In the underworld there’s a little girl
throwing fire into her wounds
And your god is there, sees that she is scared
but he just watches her, amused
It’s just a nasty dream, but it looks just like
a scene out of the books that we’ve been reading
A god of power and light
stained onto these pages
residue of fear in every eye
Holy, holy
Holy, holy
Who’ll be the star of Jesus
Who memorized that verse?
I started to tell my story
but he had to sell his first
In his tragic fantasy, the hero always dies
and we’re standing on the shoreline
waiting for him to arrive
Holy, holy
Holy, holy
I’m sorry. It’s just me.
I don’t really mean to accuse
but all the prophets and the holy bible,
they didn’t help to ease the confusion
I’m sorry. It’s just me.
I don’t really mean to accuse
Just throw the literature out the window
and show me a little piece of good news
I want to be whole
Wholly, holy
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5. |
Brooklyn Bridge
05:01
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If I could take you anywhere right now
we’d climb the Brooklyn Bridge, I’d show you
how to see the whole wide world inside your camera lens
but you’d waste all your pretty shots on me instead
We’d throw our voice out to meet the edge
even though competing steamboats have the upper hand
and every time I make a little dent
there’s nowhere left for me to go but home again
You wrote a song that set my blind love free,
took your guitar and moved away from me
and ever since my days are all the same
tuning in to hear the one you titled my name.
I lay my head down on the radio
and let your love sing me to sleep
This song’s the only thing in life right now
I’m sure I want to keep.
I’ve seen the tired sands of Africa
I’ve been to France
I’ve been around the world and back again
but I’m still living in the town we knew
That means I’m too much of a small-town girl
to hold the likes of you
The New York skyline’s got me wondering
if you’re okay
I haven’t seen you since that autumn day
when you threw up in the cab and kissed my cheek
and I cleaned up and paid the tab and left you on the street
I go back home to where I know I’m safe
and wait for you to come out of this haze
‘cause suicide is not the only way
to kill yourself these days
Something happened when the lights when out
You rose up like a phoenix from my silent mouth
and whispered in my ear until I came around
I packed up my bags with all of my rage
and stormed the man who’s hogging up the stage
It’s not your fault you get to live like that
I don’t want your life. I want mine back.
Your luck’s the only thing in life right now
that’s keeping me on track.
I lay my head down on the radio
and let your love sing me to sleep
This song’s the only thing in life right now
I’m sure I want to keep.
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6. |
Autumn Lullaby
03:43
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The sun is rising like a swollen reverie.
October's here; I wear my memories on my sleeve.
I tried to stay but there were masks to wear
and leaves to chase.
I miss you now but, not to worry,
nothing’s changed.
I don’t even mind
that I’m not doing anything
of any consequence in my life.
I’ve got all the time in the world.
Wrap me up inside an acorn shell.
Toss me to a pile of leaves.
Light my love on fire, dear, and watch
the night sky bleed.
The rain came down and washed away the scent
of you and me.
It covered up whatever I was going to say.
I love the autumn ‘cause it makes me want to fall -
let go my will and I’ll drift anywhere at all.
I don’t even mind
that I’m not doing anything
of any consequence in my life.
I’ve got all the time in the world.
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Jessica Smucker Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Jessica has performed all over the Eastern U.S. and has won several national songwriting contests including the Connecticut Folk Festival and SolarFest. She has opened for notable acts like Cheryl Wheeler and Bill Staines, and shared festival stages with Patty Larkin, Dar Williams and Antje Duvekot. Her third full-length album, Lucid Stories, Tentative Lies, is due out in September 2020. ... more
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